You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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