So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
