so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
