So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
