how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
did you just send me my own nude
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
