hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
