Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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