My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
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