I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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