if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
