We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
