Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you inspire me to be a worse person
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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