Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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