How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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