Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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