People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
