Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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