South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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