there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
wat bout pragnant strippers??
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
