Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
