Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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