that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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