At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
