Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
