Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize