I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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