Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Buhtt sex?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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