I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
