I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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