Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "one day" and that day is not today
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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