I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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