i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
