Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
