You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
