The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
How external is "for external use only"?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
