Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
