You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
