My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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