shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
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if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
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And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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