um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
