Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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