Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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