lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
