I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
