If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
