But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
