Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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