In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
