This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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