She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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