She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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