what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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