I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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