Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
