now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My dick has a subreddit
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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