He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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