Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
