WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
