You made me cry and you don't even care
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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